The Top of the Pops opening credits play, and a screaming crowd surround presenter Tim Kash, looking for all the world like an overawed rabbit caught in particularly bright headlights.
TK - Welcome to Top of the Pops, here's this week's number one, it's by Big Brother winner Marco Sabba and his favourite housemates, it's The Lipgloss Bitches with "We Are The Lipgloss Bitches". The crowd cheers, as the camera pans around to the stage.

Marco is standing on an armchair, wearing a pair of shorts and Nadia's pink poncho. Emma, wearing a glittery boob tube, a black mini skirt and black stilettos stands to his left, And Michelle, in a red halter neck top with matching hotpants and opaque plastic wedge heels with red ribbon laces, stands to his right. As the music begins, Nadia emerges from behind the armchair and heads to the front, resplendent in a tight blue mini dress with a halter neck slashed to the waist and matching blue heels. They all move to the front of the stage towards the four microphones and begin their performance, Marco doing a little dance as he moves.

Marco - We are the lipgloss bitches
Em, Mich & Nad - Bitches! Bitches!
Marco - We had you all in stitches
Em, Mich & Nad - Stitches! Stitches!
Marco - In the BB house we stayed
And Shell she was our maid
Emma - We beat the jungle cats
We thought that they were rats
Michelle - I loved my chicken Stu
And I think he liked me too
Nadia - We always had a giggle
And I gave a little wiggle
All - We're the glam, We're the god damn
Lipgloss bitches! Bitches!
We are the lipgloss bitches!
Marco - We thought Ahmed was sad
And his snaggle tooth was bad
Emma - Dan and Van they were our judges
But I didn't have a budgies
Michelle - The bedsit drove us crazy
Day 20's still so hazy
Nadia - They called my laugh a cackle
Till I kicked them in the tackle
All - We're the glam, We're the god damn
Lipgloss bitches! Bitches!
We are the lipgloss bitches!
Marco starts to dance around the stage, as the girls writhe sexily against their microphone stands.
All - We're the glam, We're the god damn
Lipgloss bitches! Bitches!
We are the lipgloss bitches!
We're the glam, We're the god damn
Lipgloss bitches! Bitches!
We are the lipgloss bitches!

As the song comes to an end, the crowd cheers wildly
Marco - Oh my god! This is so amazing! We're, like, celebrities!